I told her this is not how I saw us living our lives and I didn't want to take care of her as I see her mom takes care of her dad. I hadn't realized until then how miserable that poor woman's life has been. He has made her life a total nightmare the only thing that has slowed him down is throat cancer but I can imagine the strange person she has to deal with when he gets drunk because that person doesn't exist when they get drunk. They are aggressive and violent. I don't want to live like that! We are in a position to where we could really enjoy our lives together but the drinking has altered those plans.