Sounds like she is still behaving like the crazy, wild 20 year old you were with in your teens, she's just got older and circumstances along the way, e.g. having kids will have slowed her down a bit at times...this can't have just come on suddenly, correct me if i am wrong, over 15 years you must have had some warning along the way? Or not? Hindsight is a great thing but clearly you need to do some work on yourself and start detaching, maybe al-anon?