Shelbjo,
I truly feel for you. This is so hard and it feels like there is no way out. I urge you to talk to someone and attend al anon meetings. I am attending my first one this week. The decision to leave my AM has not come easy. It has been years in the making and I finally just asked myself why I was putting up with everything a couple of weeks ago. Your gma sounds like my F, and I am telling him tonight that he can stay and help her if he wants, but I will not be there to carry the burden on my shoulders anymore. I can't make my father stop trying to help her no matter how bad I want to. At some point, I have come to realize that we can only do so much and when the problem is bigger than we are, you have to find another way around it. My way of leaving may not be the "best" way for everyone involved, but it is the only way I know to make things easier for me personally. I think one of the traits of an ACOA is trying to solve everyone else's problems and not taking care of yourself. I have finally just gotten "selfish" and said that's it, I have to look after me because nobody else is going to take care of me the way I can.
Please seek help to get through this and if your gma keeps bailing her out, then you have to let that become her problem and take yourself out of the equation. I know it is sad to see the A take advantage of people, but we are powerless to stop it until the A or the individual (my F, or your gma) gets fed up.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.