{Edit to the last sentence of my last post} Let me clarify, that I consider alcohol to have been the ultimate bad judgement enhancer on my part, unlike any other substance, activity, or addiction I ever experienced. Meaning, I do not just fear that use of alcohol would lead to more alcohol only, I DO fear it would lead me back to the use of all the stuff I was into, and a return to my past lifestyle (deathstyle)...this is in stark contrast to how I feel about the use of pot for example, which for me at least does not pack the potent negative punch that alcohol does. Does not mean I want to get back to daily use, not at all but at best pot leads to munchies which leads to less than great food choices which leads to weight gain and affects my fitness. At worst it leads to more pot use. Nicotine (for me anyway) leads to instant nicotine addiction (the phenomenon of craving) and that painful cycle all over again. Pills leads to more pills, no doubt about it gotta be wicked careful there, but HONESTLY, I never abused them in quantity, I abused them in that I mixed them with alcohol and used them just as a way to feel good. And finally; alcohol leads to more alcohol, which leads to poor judgement, drinking and driving, which all just leads me back to doing whatever I want, whenever I want. So I'm not trying to make excuses or reasons for the use of pot or a few pain pills, just trying to put things in honest perspective for myself anyway. It is NOT acceptable for me to do any mind altering drugs and the goal is total abstinence, true sobriety and slowly but surely I am getting there, this is just a bump in the road for me, part of the journey towards where I AM going.
Make sense?