Thanks for the posts. Its not to say this isn't a struggle and probably will be for a long time, but its getting easier. I have found that it is really hard to drink. All the planning involved is exhausting...which store do I go to this time, do I get a large bottle (I'll drink it all) or a small one (but end up going back for more), what do I do with the empty so my family won't find it, how do I get it into the house, where do I hide it, it was exhausting. Now I just go home...so much more simple. Plus I actually look forward to going to AA meetings. These people are my friends and they understand how I feel and they support me unconditionally, cuz they know exactly what I am going through and nod when I talk cuz they have been there done that! What a great feeling!