Two things -
It will get better.
Like Rusty said - not today, and maybe not tomorrow - but it *will* get better.
Some of us were on that damn stuff so long, we forgot what NOT being 'on' something was like. Give it time - your kids need you healthy. They'll put up with you being sick, let them help you.
I also agree to find a doc who's good with addictions.
SECOND _
You're not alone.
Post here as much as you want -
letting 'go' inside your head helps
as much as the cleaning up physically.