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Old 01-15-2010, 06:03 PM
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Unhappy Please someone help me

I need someone to give me an answer if I will ever feel better agian!!! I was doing oxycotin 80's and heroin for about a year and I didnt want to anymore so I went to a dr. who prescribed me suboxone I took suboxone for about two weeks and slowly tapered off. Then about 5 days after my last dose of suboxone I started having bad withdrawls, like my legs kicking sweats and chills and stomach problems. I didn't want to go back to heroin or OC so i tryed taking vicoden just like 1 750 to see if that helped it did at first but now my anxiety is threw the roof my heart is pouding my legs are kicking and i cannot sleep. I don't want to be on anything I just want to be clean, I cannot afford the suboxone dr. he only takes cash and I just don't want to feel like this anymore. I cannot function and I really just can't take this anymore. How long am I going to feel this bad?? What is happening to me? Why can't I just not take anything and be normal?? PLEASE SOMEONE GIVE ME SOME HOPE because right now I don't know if I can go on anymore!!
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Old 01-15-2010, 06:10 PM
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Hi and Welcome,

I'm sorry that you're feeling bad.

I think it would be a really good idea for you to go to your regular dr and tell him/her what is going on. I know the withdrawls are difficult, but it will get better as each day goes by.

I wish you well!
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Old 01-15-2010, 06:13 PM
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yes kelly, you will feel better again,

just not right today...

perhaps fing a good doc familar with addctions, and addictions recovery.

take a deep breath, breath, dont forget to exhale, and post, read, excersise, whine, yell, or go kick a rock...

recovery and gettimg better takes time...

you can do it,

as many of us have...

good wishes kbell
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Old 01-15-2010, 06:20 PM
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Its just so difficult because I have two kids, I'm supposed to start a new job this coming week and I just want my life back!!!I just want to be me again and I feel like I'm being punished for how I screwed up by starting. I don't want to feel horrible for months and I just am so hopeless!!!
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Old 01-15-2010, 06:22 PM
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Kelly,

It takes time and patience to get through early recovery.

Is there any way to postpone starting your new job?
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Old 01-15-2010, 06:25 PM
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no and I need it bad! I need money to support the kiddies I just don't want to end up doing something dumb.
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Old 01-15-2010, 06:28 PM
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Kelly,

You just need to hang in there. It hurts now, but it will get better.

My advice is to put your recovery first.

There is lots of hope!
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Old 01-15-2010, 06:29 PM
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When will it get better in days? months? years?
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Old 01-15-2010, 06:33 PM
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I know how it feels to want so badly for someone to say "just do this" and you will instantly feel better. We're impatient. We want things when we want them and sometimes NOW doesn't seem quick enough.

As miraculous as the human body is, it does take time for it to re-adjust to the absence of alcohol/drugs, whatever.

Please know that this will pass. You will feel better. Call someone who can support you through this. By all means, call 911 if you need to!

But realize that it does take time and recovery is so worth it.

I'm saying a prayer for you...take care of yourself, Kellybell.
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Old 01-15-2010, 06:36 PM
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I have gone through opiate withdrawal and I know how painful it is. Have you tried taking a hot bath? They always seemed to help the leg ache. Have you thought of going to a regular dr and telling him/her what you are going through withdrawal.

I would also suggest finding an NA meeting to go to. You will find a lot of support there and most folks will have a lot of experience with withdrawal and recovery.

I will say a prayer for you. Hang in there and DON'T USE NO MATTER WHAT!
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Old 01-15-2010, 06:44 PM
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Originally Posted by kellybell View Post
When will it get better in days? months? years?
You're likely to get lots of different answers because everybody is different and how long for us to 'bounce back' also depends on the substance/amount/length of time that we were addicted. I was a heavy daily drinker for a very long time and I quit cold turkey. The physical benefits were immediate (the first few days), but the mental part of addiction is still something I actively have to keep in check (counseling is very helpful).

Check out the other forums here on SR, particularly the substance abuse forum. No doubt many folks there have been where you're at and very likely are recovering from the same thing as you.

I know you said you had kids but I don't know how old you are. I found this info on a reply for another post recently. If needed, they can at least point you to a hotline that's geared to your age and situation.

National Youth Crisis Hotline: 800-442-HOPE (4673)
Provides counseling and referrals to local drug treatment centers, shelters, and counseling services. Operates 24 hours, seven days a week.

I know it's hard, but hang in there, check out the other forums and don't forget...

BREATHE...
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Old 01-15-2010, 06:46 PM
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Two things -

It will get better.
Like Rusty said - not today, and maybe not tomorrow - but it *will* get better.
Some of us were on that damn stuff so long, we forgot what NOT being 'on' something was like. Give it time - your kids need you healthy. They'll put up with you being sick, let them help you.

I also agree to find a doc who's good with addictions.

SECOND _

You're not alone.
Post here as much as you want -
letting 'go' inside your head helps
as much as the cleaning up physically.
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Old 01-15-2010, 06:49 PM
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I promise you it gets better. I've been through opiate withdrawal too many times to count, most recently doing 300+ mg of oxycontin a day. And that was just 3 weeks ago! I've been clean this time for 19 days and am feeling great. Hang in there. You can do it. This place is great for support and comfort and there's always the 12 step communities and other support groups. I do NA and it's an amazing experience. Whatever you do, i wish you all the best.
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Old 01-15-2010, 06:56 PM
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Hi KellyBell

I agree - seeing a doctor and asking these questions should be a priority.
In the meantime, here's two more numbers that may help

The National Drug and Alcohol Treatment Referral Routing Service available at 1-800-662-HELP. This service can provide you with information about treatment programs in your local community and allow you to speak with someone about alcohol or drug problems

Hopeline-dot-com has free 1-800 line that will connect any caller in the US who needs help to a certified crisis center nearest the caller's location. Services are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. The number is:

1- 800-784-2433
D

Last edited by Dee74; 01-15-2010 at 08:11 PM.
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Old 01-15-2010, 07:49 PM
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Kellbell, I promise it will get better. You are doing the best thing you can for yourself and your kids... and you've certainly come to the right place for advice and support. Just take it a minute at a time, and don't be afraid to reach out.
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Old 01-15-2010, 08:27 PM
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..every bone in my body..feels for you...

..gonna be gettin' better soon..ok..think of the kids..

..but you are what's important..care...ozy...
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Old 01-15-2010, 09:15 PM
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Kell,

I don't know about opiate withdrawal but maybe a hot bath would help? As the others suggested it's best to talk to your doctor. Don't take any more opiates! It'll be starting the cycle all over. Don't go there!

Please take care and keep posting or head to the chat room.

Love,

Lenina
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Old 01-15-2010, 10:43 PM
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Getting back to "me" is not so good

I kept wanting to get "me" back, too: there I was comfortable in what I had become and no one (especially my innocent children) objected to my selfishness. And in this was my problem: if "me" was so great, I wouldn't haven't been (be) in the crisis that initially brought me to this site. Lately, the thought of getting "me" back is not very attractive.

"Me," what I had become, how I was acting or reacting to others (i.e., how I was/be) is/was the BIG problem that led me to this site for help. If how I had lived my life was so great/good, I wouldn't be here. So trying to get back "there" is not going to alive my pain: I need to acknowledge the problems that I have in relating with the world--and I need to change to make that relationship better. (As a single parent of grown children, I now realize that it was easy to "use" that parental relationship--their needing me to survive--to avoid learning more complex skills in developing and maintaining relationships.)

My understanding of this terrible plight (which we feel through our anxiety and act out in forms of abuse) is that at a fundamental, unconscious level we know that we are better than this--and we know that we need to change. And change is boring, daily hard work.

I am not always good at this work, but through the help of others (including those on this site) at the least, I am beginning to catch myself when I indulge myself, when I procrastinate and dwell on what is wrong with me rather than get off my "can" and do what I know I needs to be done, today, this hour.
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Old 01-16-2010, 07:07 AM
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In being upfront and honest I do NOT crave for H or OC or vicoden I just physically feel sick everyday and I have been off suboxone 12 days and I have been off H for 3 weeks and my body is still very phycially ill. How long will the physical illness last??? because honestly if everyone says quitting cold turkey from H without suboxone withdrawl last only a week. Which I have heard from many people then why dont I just go and sniff some H and quit cold turkey instead of withdrawling off suboxone and the physical withdrawl taking alot longer than a week
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Old 01-16-2010, 08:36 AM
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kellybell, I can't comment on the effect that taking the suboxone might be having on your withdrawal -- I understand that it and methadone take a lot longer to get out of your system. So, my input is probably irrelevant. Take it for what it's worth.

I had a heavy habit when I quit. I didn't take anything for the withdrawals, and in about ten days, I was over the worst of them, though some (occasional chills out of nowhere, lingering RLS) continued in a milder form for awhile.

However, when I would run out and go into withdrawals, then get "a little bit" to make me feel better temporarily -- then go into withdrawals all over again, it seemed to reset the clock. If I "got well" three or four days into it, when it was at its worst, then quit again (involuntarily), I'd be facing another "at its worst" three or four days later. So, I'd strongly urge you not to be ingesting opiates in any form at this point. You'll only prolong the process.

Peace & Love,
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