Originally Posted by Impurrfect

(((Untoxicated))) when I was younger, and "in love" with a functioning alcoholic, I was also a raging codependent. I drank, like a fish, to "keep up" or "put up" with him...got a DUI and everything. Drank from sunup to sundown on my days off.

When we broke up, I stopped drinking except on occasion...no withdrawals, didn't miss it, heck, didn't really think about it. However, there was still something missing in me, and I turned to opiates. Abused the heck out of them...lucky I'm still alive, with the amounts I used.

Again, when I lost access to them, I walked away...no withdrawals, no cravings, not a second thought. Have had to take them for legit pain on a few occasions and I have an "agreement" with my dr. and dentist that they give me very few with no refills.

After THAT, I discovered crack....brought me to my knees. Lost my nursing career, ended up in jail and with almost 3 years clean, I am STILL dealing with the wreckage of my consequences.

The reason I am telling you this, is if you feel there is something "missing" in you, I highly recommend doing whatever it takes to find out what it is, lest you follow MY path and keep trying to fill that missing part with something....be it counseling, meetings, therapy, whatever. I could have saved YEARS of hell if I'd started where you are, and tackled the problem head on.

I don't know whether you're an alcoholic or not. Anyone who saw me when I was drinking would have sworn I was one, but in the years since then I've had a drink with dinner or one beer on a hot day and that was it....I didn't want any more.

I hope you find the answers to what you are seeking.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy