Maybe you're right endzoner. I know I'd be better off with the support a group would provide, and to know there were people near me who were going through the same issues. I haven't totally dismissed the idea but I'm not quite ready to entertain it yet. I think the fact that I may know people there is just one aspect of it, you can imagine what small town gossip is like, I would be mortified to think that other people out side of any group would find out about me.
I'd also feel a bit weak to be honest, I'm sorry if that causes offence to anybody here, I have a lot of respect for the members here that are winning through AA, It's just that I don't really feel comfortable with the 'alkie' tag. If I turn up at a group it means that I couldn't do it by myself and that I was willing to wear the alcoholic label, and that makes me feel defeated to be honest. I guess that's 'cutting off my nose to spite my face' but it's how I feel...