Blogs


Notices

Nearly caved today

Old 01-09-2010, 02:38 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Qld Australia
Posts: 38
Nearly caved today

I'm finding this weekend quite tuff. My wife is out of town for a few days, even though she took all the alcohol with her, I've been craving like mad! I know bordom is a big trigger for me, I've been trying desperately to get on with things but I just keep thinking about having a beer the whole time. It's Saturday here today and my mind is telling me that everyone in the world is boozing it up except me!

I keep thinking that I'd be much happier and content if I had a drink in my hand, the day doesn't seem complete without it. My mind id full of romance for a drink, like how much I'd be enjoying myself sitting outside under the stars with a nice cold drink in my hand, it's doing my head in!

I gave up smoking about 10 weeks ago and have been doing fine but I even thought about having a smoke today just to take my mind of things. I think I got through today - just, but I'm only 9 days sober and if I'm already feeling like this, I don't know if I'm going to be able to keep this up for much longer. I feel really torn.
Shifty is offline  
Old 01-09-2010, 02:47 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: scotland uk
Posts: 163
Originally Posted by Shifty View Post
I'm finding this weekend quite tuff. My wife is out of town for a few days, even though she took all the alcohol with her, I've been craving like mad! I know bordom is a big trigger for me, I've been trying desperately to get on with things but I just keep thinking about having a beer the whole time. It's Saturday here today and my mind is telling me that everyone in the world is boozing it up except me!

I keep thinking that I'd be much happier and content if I had a drink in my hand, the day doesn't seem complete without it. My mind id full of romance for a drink, like how much I'd be enjoying myself sitting outside under the stars with a nice cold drink in my hand, it's doing my head in!

I gave up smoking about 10 weeks ago and have been doing fine but I even thought about having a smoke today just to take my mind of things. I think I got through today - just, but I'm only 9 days sober and if I'm already feeling like this, I don't know if I'm going to be able to keep this up for much longer. I feel really torn.
Hi shifty
Feel for you I really do. When I had my brief abstinence of 6 weeks I had these feelings, some things did not seem "complete" without a drink in hand.
I am going to try and quit again starting Mon .
I know someone here told me you need to change your routines to break the associations with alcohol. Can you go somewhere different this weekend? can you do something you wouldn't normally do? go see someone you haven't seem in a while? go to the movies?
My thoughts are with you. Stay strong I am sure this craving will pass and you will have feelings of pride in achieving , rather than feelings of guilt for giving in.
Posting/reading on here will hopefully help
d x
daphne is offline  
Old 01-09-2010, 03:07 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 204,001
Blog Entries: 1
Shifty

Read your first post here - think about where taking that drink actually leads you. We call that playing the tape through to the end, and it's saved me a few times.

You're not doing AA are you? The good thing about recovery groups is that you always have people to call - but no matter. Stick close to SR, mate.

The bottom line is - this isn't easy, but getting through these times and not drinking was the best thing I ever did, Shifty.

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 01-09-2010, 04:40 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
 
CarolD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Get to an AA meeting Keep posting with us
Take a swim Do anything to distract yourself

Please don't return to drinking....
CarolD is offline  
Old 01-09-2010, 04:44 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
Hey man, Hang in there!! If you're an alcoholic you know that there ain't no happy ending if you cave and take a drink. I know all about the romanticing but it's bullsh*t man. Your alclholic mind will play tricks on you to get you to take that first one. I know if I "had one under the stars" it would not stop at one but would turn into a binge. Why would I ever stop at one? Like Dee said play that tape through... Theres nothing romantic about alclhol and drug addiction and I'm sure you know that... that must be why you're hear. Stick with it man, you will feel stronger for coming throught the tough times sober. I can only speak for myself but AA and SR helped me immensely to get through the tough times and during the good-times too. During the good times I am bulding up armory for when the tough-times come again ie- working on my recovery using the steps of AA as my core foundation.

Play that tape through like Dee said when "one under the stars" seems like a good idea... I know for me that ain't never happened and when it boils down to it I just wanna get wasted. Whether "under the stars" or wherever. I would just wanna get wasted. Not one or two or three but oblivion... one is too many and 10000 never enough.
NEOMARXIST is offline  
Old 01-09-2010, 08:17 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Don't resist, allow
 
intention's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: South East of England
Posts: 1,521
Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
Shifty

think about where taking that drink actually leads you. We call that playing the tape through to the end, and it's saved me a few times.


D
That's great, practical advice....and simple. Simple and uncomplicated really helps in troubled times.
intention is offline  
Old 01-09-2010, 04:49 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Qld Australia
Posts: 38
Thanks for the replies

I made it throught yesterday without drinking. I went around to a friends place in the end, there's a lot to be said for coffee and good conversation. I'm not in any recovery program as there is only AA here but it's a small town and I'm not ready to walk in the knowing most of the people there already. I will try the 'playing the tape' thing next time though.

I know all this romancing is B*llsh*t, and you're right, I don't want 1 drink, I want to get pissed. I'm trying to personify this little drinking vioce in my head to try and get some distace between me and 'it'. I totally agree that I need to make some changes in my life if I'm going to see this through. One thing that I noticed yesterday is the gap where drinking was, it's a huge gap and I have to think of things to fill it.

I feel I've spent so long with drinking on my mind that I have to figure out who I really am and what I want in life without drink. I would love to be at a stage one day when I'll suddenly remember that I don't drink, I hope that drinking is the lowest of priorities and I hardly give it the time of day, does that ever happen??
Shifty is offline  
Old 01-09-2010, 05:14 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
 
CarolD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Yes...
does that ever happen??
.it certainly has for me.
I'm a recovered alcoholic.

The only time I think about drinking is when I am
sharing in an AA meeting or here at SR....

Good to know you stayed sober....
CarolD is offline  
Old 01-09-2010, 05:20 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 204,001
Blog Entries: 1
It also happened for me Shifty.
It will happen - and you will discover who you are..as long as you stay committed to moving forwards and not 'do a Uey' (U turn for the non Aussies)

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 01-09-2010, 05:30 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Learning to live again
 
Hevyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 48,281
Hi Shifty! Another Aussie, how lovely.

I had all those same thoughts when I was first recovering. I fantasized about having 'just a few' (like the normies can). It was Dee's advice about playing the tape through that stopped me dead in my tracks. What would really happen if I had that first drink? I'd be on another binge, another trip to hell. Where would this one end? I had already proven to myself that I couldn't possibly predict what would happen once I picked up.

I'm so glad you didn't give in and made it through. I drank for over 25 yrs. and I can promise you YES you will become less obsessed with drinking thoughts and cravings. It takes awhile, but getting wasted will become less and less appealing as you heal.

Congratulations on your decision to seek a new life for yourself.
Hevyn is online now  
Old 01-09-2010, 05:35 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 204,001
Blog Entries: 1
OK...modesty compels me to point out I didn't actually *think* of the concept of playing the tape through

but it's worked for me and others, so I pass it on

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 01-10-2010, 07:33 AM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Don't resist, allow
 
intention's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: South East of England
Posts: 1,521
Going to a friends and having a coffee may seem like just a small thing but it is a major achievement for you. Congratulations on staying sober
intention is offline  
Old 01-10-2010, 07:56 AM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Being Me for the first time
 
endzoner's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Wishek, North Dakota
Posts: 1,160
Blog Entries: 12
Hi and welcome to SR .. you mentioned not going to a meeting for fear of running in to someone you mite know ... would that be such a bad thing ?? there at the meeting for the same reason you are and thats " the desire to stop drinkin " . If we all worried about running into someone we know there wouldnt be anyone there , to help you me and the next person . In regards to runnin into someone . That could be a really good thing for you , having friends around you in the program , surrounding your self with people in the program and who support what it is your going thu and can help you get thu a slump . They wont bite , they dont judge .. there just like you workin in the moment to stay on the path of recovery , Best of luck man and I hope you give it at least a chance , its saved many a lifes , including myself..................... ~ huggles Endzy ~
endzoner is offline  
Old 01-10-2010, 03:33 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Qld Australia
Posts: 38
Maybe you're right endzoner. I know I'd be better off with the support a group would provide, and to know there were people near me who were going through the same issues. I haven't totally dismissed the idea but I'm not quite ready to entertain it yet. I think the fact that I may know people there is just one aspect of it, you can imagine what small town gossip is like, I would be mortified to think that other people out side of any group would find out about me.

I'd also feel a bit weak to be honest, I'm sorry if that causes offence to anybody here, I have a lot of respect for the members here that are winning through AA, It's just that I don't really feel comfortable with the 'alkie' tag. If I turn up at a group it means that I couldn't do it by myself and that I was willing to wear the alcoholic label, and that makes me feel defeated to be honest. I guess that's 'cutting off my nose to spite my face' but it's how I feel...
Shifty is offline  
Old 01-10-2010, 04:18 PM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Don't resist, allow
 
intention's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: South East of England
Posts: 1,521
Hi Shifty,

Weakness is the best thing about it because we only find recovery when we admit we are powerless over alcohol - Step 1.

I hear what you are saying about being seen going to a meeting but isn't it strange that there is some kind of stigma attached to going to AA (not drinking) but to be seen in a bar or a pub every night drinking is OK and considered perfectly normal with many, many people. Strange.
intention is offline  
Old 01-10-2010, 09:58 PM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Louisville, Ky.
Posts: 58
Hey Shifty,

FWIW.....I just completed my 7th day. I strongly recomend AA if you can find a group in your area. I've been going to meetings and reading the Big Book every night. It's kept me sober and I'm starting to "get it" a little bit.
patman is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:55 PM.