please keep in mind that it is not your job to make him suffer the consequences of his actions, any more than it is your job to rescue him from them: so if you don't do it "in your eyes" perfectly you are not preventing him from seeing the light or doing it incorrectly or whatever.
there is also no evidence that enabling or not makes any difference to their choices. I am not suggesting that you therefore pick up the slack and do everything for him, I am simply suggesting that having any expectations that it will result in a positive change may be setting yourself up for a fall.
in the end your responsibility is for you, which is where Alice's example comes in fabulously and without contradiction, and why (in my opinion) carrying on not doing the things you have listed is healthy. My argument would be that it is healthy for you to not act like the mother of a 2 year old to grown man.
In that context, viewing the other behaviours you listed through a lens of their impact on you, is it healthy to deny yourself company, maintain a facade, walk on eggshells? if you decide that for now continuing with those is protective, then it is your right to carry on, without taking on a burden of this being "wrong" or impacting him in a negative way.
keep the focus on you ((hugs))