I know I'm moving my focus onto him. I guess I'm mad that he basically made a promise and broke it. It's more the principal. I guess that's pretty ironic given all the promises I've broken. I think I'm probably taking out the anger I felt at being acutely aware that I cannot drink like a normal person (and therefore ever again) on him. And honestly I wanted a little more fanfare from him earlier in the day, which I didn't get, etc. I know I am sounding very childish...I work so hard - at least 80 hrs. a week in only 5 days, and doing this too - which suddenly today went from feeling good, to feeling like just white knuckle self-denial, and I just want, as Bill Murray said in Caddyshack, "A little something for the effort."
Thanks for listenting to me, and letting me have my mini-fit. I already am feeling a bit better that I got it out. I guess I am deeply angry that I can't be normal. And I guess that will take time to get over...
