Just for me. 1st my H says he's not going to drink either as it would be unfair to me, and make it harder for me. This was two weeks ago. Me feeling so very guilty at the time, I said, oh no, don't do that for ME. If you want to drink or not or whatever, that's your business. But he was all, oh no, that's not fair, etc. Ok, fine.
I was doing really well, no cravings, really. Feeling oddly centered. (I'm on day 14). So we stop at a friend's house this afternoon. And the guys says to my H, "Want a beer?" My H goes, "sure!" And he proceeds to drink it in front of me.
Then our friend goes, I have a whole new bottle of vodka here for ya' - my brand, etc. "Hasn't even been opened yet! And tons of ice!" So, I politely decline, and get irrationally angry that my H, just picked up a beer the first time out.
I say irrationally, because I really didn't want him to change his behavior because of MY problem. But in the end, I'm pissed that he drank that beer. We stopped home to walk the dog, but we're going back to the friend's house. Also earlier today, I told the H, well...it's my SECOND weekend not drinking. He was just kind of like, uh huh. And that was IT. Um - after all the drama, the big lecture, etc. that's all I get?
Maybe I'm wrong to want more after the years of drinking I put him through. I'm probably a jerk for even thinking this way for one moment. Selfish again, probably. But the whole thing just really got me angry today, and I don't know what to do with it.
Oh - and I REALLY wanted to open that bottle. After all my good progress, I really really really wanted to somehow make it ok to drink. Of course, THAT would result in world war three, so there's no way I could finagle that. And I don't want to ruin what I have so far either. I don't. I just got really angry. And disappointed in myself, again.
Thoughts? Am I nuts?
