Hi Daphne.....some ideas for you.
1. Set a date, mark it on the calender.
2. Move booze out of sight in the house, so you are not seeing it every time you go to make a cup of tea.
3. Buy a notebook and make a journal. Write every day, focus on health, symptoms, cravings, emotions etc.
4. In social situations tell people you have given up drink for the time being to see if it helps your health. Tell them it is hard so you would rather not talk about it and make a big deal about it if that helps you.
5. Make a list of soft drinks you can have when out, so have some variety and choose different each time.
6. Make an honest list of the times you are likely to drink and then list something you can do different to avoid temptation. Do this now, do not wait until it happens.
7. Partner is supportive; that's great. Tell him what help you need, particularly if he is still drinking. Tell him if you need to talk, if you prefer not to talk about it, if you prefer he drank when you were not around, if you prefer that he did not offer you a drink.
8. Make a list of at least 10 things you can quickly and easily when you feel the urge to drink. Put it on the fridge and tell your partner you welcome him to pass it to you if he sees you waivering - e.g. have a soak in a bubble bath, go for a 15 minute walk, catch up on a favourite TV programme, read a book you want to read rather than something you have to read, rent a DVD, commit to 15 minutes here on this site, have your partner massage your feet for 10 minutes (he said he would support you
, have sex either with him or alone, spend 15 minutes tackling a task in the house you have been putting off, phone a friend, etc etc. I am sure you can thing of a list of at least 10 things which are easily accessible.
9. The money you save on booze each week do something indulgent that you wouldn't normally do like pay for a massage or a beauty treatment at a salon.
10.....or save the money and put it towards something you would never ever dream of buying like an expensive designer bag or shoes.
11. If you always sit on the same place on the sofa with a drink in your hand, then sit somewhere else.
12. Have different soft drinks or hot drinks at home to try out - ones you don't normally have as a substitute liquid.
13. Completely change your routine of your chill out time after work e.g. treat yourself to some good beauty products from a salon and have a new routine of taking off your make up and looking after your skin, soak in a bath, have a hot shower, do some exercise, relaxation, meditation. Anything but make sure it is different and it is
rewarding.
14. Change your drive home from work. What we do habitually becomes automatic. I would guess most times you don't even remember the drive. So change the route, change the CD, change the radio station, have silence.
15. Do something different at weekends. Turn down some social occassions if you need to. Maybe you and the partner go away to a nice hotel, have a nice meal, go for long walks. You actually may find that you enjoy it just as much at your social nights out.
16. Check out the local paper and choose a film each week that you want to go and see at the cinema. Make it a regular night. Or two - perhaps he chooses one, then you the next film.
17. Look in the local paper for what else is going on. Take a chance and do something completely different.
18. Make a point of cooking some different evening meals so you change your habits.
19. Sit in a different seat when you eat your evening meal.
20. Spend an evening or two a week sitting with your partner just talking. No telly, no music, just sitting on the sofa looking at each just an talking and connecting.
21. Ask your partner what you can do for him. Do it once a week, twice, maybe every day. Just do something which is purely for him and nothing about you and what you want or need.
I shall stop there as the last one will lead me to talking about doing a programme and I know that is not where you are at right now
but the point of all of this is that "if nothing changes, nothing changes", so you have to do something
different than the last time you quit drinking.