hi,
welcome to the boards. for myself i have learned alanon isnt about the A... but about our own recovery from its affects. sure we have all had things turn out rather than we would have wanted in life. especially if we have an A in our lives. go to a few meetings. the face to face kind. it really helps. they will give you a venue to vent the frustration, the anger, the hurt, the disappointment. and you will feel more acceptance and love than you have ever known. strangers who know where you are, and where you can go thru this program.
best of luck to you
quietsins