There is no final solution just more problems
I have been in a fog for the last few days.I have searched all sorts of avenues to give me relief from my pain.I feel with all my heart that I work the program of AA with some success and have gained a great deal of sereinty and sprituality in the program.I have prayed and prayed about what is causing this unfulfilled need that is trying to invade my heart.After great consideration and prayer I have decided that I am just sick and tired of being sober,responsible and lonley like only people with addiction problems have experienced.I just want to get high and drunk and run the coarse that we all know so well.I must accept that no matter what I do periods of this behavior are going to slip and slide their way back into my sober life.Now that I recognize that this is just my sick character defects trying to take me to a place I neither belong or want to go back to. I will just have to see if what I have learned is stronger than this disgusting exsistence that I had finally succomb to.
Had to get this of my chest or I felt like I might bust I spent all afternoon in a celebration of the birthday of AA and felt like I did not even belong.
Thanks for the ear
folks I am almost 2 years sober and still feel like a child in the program.
Jyates5