I'm so happy to hear you made the appt and it sounds like you're going. Good for you!
I wanted to share some thoughts on what Mrs. Magoo touched upon. Be prepared for his reactions when he finds out you saw an Attorney, much less filed for divorce. I can predict what he's going to do because I know, all too well, how the addict mind works. (Unfortunately)
Here's what he's going to try to throw at you:
He is going to really try to put all of his problems onto you. . . . every single one of them. Everything that has ever happened to him is going to be all your fault. How dare you just walk away now, after all you two have been through together! He's going to say that you lied to him when you said you would stick by him while he got Clean & Sober. He's going to a Methadone Clinic to get himself together for you and now, you just throw in the towel. I can pretty much guarantee you that a several day binge will take place. And through it all, you'll be reminded that you have really let him down. From all the crap he's feeding you about going to the Clinic just enough to keep himself out of trouble, that's a heap of crap! As an addict, he will be there every single chance he can to get every single milligram possible of Methadone. He's not going to miss a drop of it, Callie. No way! So don't believe any of that. It sounds like to me that he's already IN trouble, that's why THEY started him on a detox. That self imposed story is a bunch of sh*t! When someone is struggling, they will not even entertain the idea of lowering their dose. Why would they? This only risks a potential relapse all the more. I know several people at the Clinic I go to who want to detox and if they even had any difficulties within the past year or so, they doctors won't even speak with them about it. And when someone is put on a detox, it's only done when they have been given every opportunity to get it together and they didn't.
Just remember that you are not suddenly walking away, like he's going to try to tell you. You have tolerated more than anyone I have ever known. You have supported him throughout more detoxes, treatments, etc and he is the one who has chosen to keep using. Yes, it's hard to stay clean after a detox, but it can be done. But the addict has to want it more than the drugs.
Be prepared because it's going to get uglier before it gets better (as far as M goes) But rest assured, you are doing the right thing for not only yourself, but your boys as well. You deserve happiness without having to constantly worry about what's going to happen next.
I love ya!