Originally Posted by
AlonebutHopeful 
I see people who have smilies and signatures and avatars and think, how or WHY do they have the will to do such "cutsie" things. How can they be so bursting full of energy to do all THAT? It really sounds crazy to me as I sit in absolute lethargy and depression. But, I hope it is true. I hope to one day join the cutsie crowd myself.
I hadn't read this thread until today, but last night I was really thinking about this. This time last year, that was totally where I was. My only real concern was making sure I had enough to get high. I literally couldn't envision a future beyond a week or two, and even that was grim. I was fairly certain that I would eventually die at my own hand, sooner or later.
What a difference a year makes. Don't get me wrong, there are still good days and bad, and the journey was neither easy or pleasant at times. I remember reading all of those posts from folks saying how wonderful sobriety was and thinking, "what a load of BS!!" But 8 months into it, just about every aspect in my life has improved. I really didn't think it would happen that way. I figured I would eventually work my way out of my funk and not think about killing myself daily, but I really didn't think things would imporve so much so fast. Some of it is luck, some of it may be my HP working in my life (though I'm still pretty much on the fence about that whole concept!!), some of it is directly related to my new found sobriety. Overall, I'd say it's a combination of all three.
I'm still not really into all the puppies and cutsie stuff, just my personality I guess. Though who knows, maybe this time next year, I'll be posting cutsie pictures here as well!! You just never know. Take care.