Dubs, I don't want to be a hard a$$ here.
I did ask you what your plan was for today and you posted that, but what I really meant was a plan for sobriety. As I've said before merely wanting sobriety and hoping for sobriety is not enough, although it is a good and necessary starting point.
When I first got sober, there were more people in my life that I could count that *could not* understand why on earth I would have drank so much, how on earth I could have consumed so much and why I didn't *just* stop...just wake up and *not* drink anymore. I listened to those questions over and over again when it was the last think I could deal with. They don't understand and it dawned on me one day.....they *don't* have to understand it, why should they understand it when they don't drink like I do or suffer from the root problem I drank and had not yet explored. They have more sophistocated coping skills than I had. What I also had to understand...*I* being the operative word....they have been through the wringer with me drinking. They have suffered consequences...*they* being the operative word and they are fed up...Fed UP with all of it.
First things first Dubs.
First you have to get a plan together for staying sober. A plan is not just saying "stay sober" It's great that you are seeing a movie today (keeping busy) but what about some reading. Have you checked out the stickies on suggested reading and making a plan to get to a library or bookstore to pick some books up. What about a commitment to make one meeting a day or two if time allows and get phone numbers from 10 people at the meetings so you can call them when you are feeling anxious and may want a drink. THEY understand what you are going through that your wife doesn't or cares to. Make a plan to meet someone from AA for coffee after work, or after meeting. Have you read the section here named "What is recovery"?
Exercise is recommended, but to the best of my knowledge, only *light exercise* and as far as working on your relationship with your wife goes....get the sobriety training in motion, concentrate on that and then work on your relationship. There seems to be an order about life.
Maybe making an appointment to see your Dr. would help to discuss your emotional health during this time.
Dubs, put as many irons in the fire as you can to help yourself and give yourself the best possible chance of succeeding this time. We would all like to see you succeed, but *you* have to do the work and it *is* work. It's about action and commitment to yourself and for yourself and the rest will follow.
What do you think?