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appreciation

Old 01-03-2010, 06:02 AM
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appreciation

I woke up at my normal (well maybe a little earlier than usual) 4am.... and just sat with a cup of half decaf (no caffeine after this for me) and thought in silence for a 1/2 hour or so. Walked outside in the dark (really early), and I don't know but the beauty of this world we live in, from the skies to the trees, to the silence of nature. The beauty we have and can enjoy is infinite. I sometimes - many times - dont acknowledge this gift. I will today. Tired of letting all of the things that are weighing in on my shoulders clouding this great opportunity. Just a thought.
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Old 01-03-2010, 06:08 AM
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It IS beautiful Dub and one of the many things in life that can be fully appreciated when sober. However, the sun will still rise every day with or without us "present".

What's your plan for today?
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Old 01-03-2010, 06:08 AM
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I know, Dub. I was so blind to things when I drank. Always numb & not looking beyond my four walls in the end. I lived in a prison of my own making. I remember when I first started going on walks and looking beyond the tiny life I had been living - it was a miracle I found my way back, but I did. You can do it this time - no more chains.
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Old 01-03-2010, 06:19 AM
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thanks friends
my plan today is to work out in a couple of hours, go see a movie i have been wanting to see, and come home to get rested for a week of crazy work (this is a big one) and stay sober. my 'wife' i have come to conclude, has no idea the anxiety and things going on in my head when i am fighting these difficult days, i really need to work on my relationships today also.
well....thats the plan. we'll see.
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Old 01-03-2010, 06:43 AM
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Dubs, I don't want to be a hard a$$ here.

I did ask you what your plan was for today and you posted that, but what I really meant was a plan for sobriety. As I've said before merely wanting sobriety and hoping for sobriety is not enough, although it is a good and necessary starting point.

When I first got sober, there were more people in my life that I could count that *could not* understand why on earth I would have drank so much, how on earth I could have consumed so much and why I didn't *just* stop...just wake up and *not* drink anymore. I listened to those questions over and over again when it was the last think I could deal with. They don't understand and it dawned on me one day.....they *don't* have to understand it, why should they understand it when they don't drink like I do or suffer from the root problem I drank and had not yet explored. They have more sophistocated coping skills than I had. What I also had to understand...*I* being the operative word....they have been through the wringer with me drinking. They have suffered consequences...*they* being the operative word and they are fed up...Fed UP with all of it.

First things first Dubs.

First you have to get a plan together for staying sober. A plan is not just saying "stay sober" It's great that you are seeing a movie today (keeping busy) but what about some reading. Have you checked out the stickies on suggested reading and making a plan to get to a library or bookstore to pick some books up. What about a commitment to make one meeting a day or two if time allows and get phone numbers from 10 people at the meetings so you can call them when you are feeling anxious and may want a drink. THEY understand what you are going through that your wife doesn't or cares to. Make a plan to meet someone from AA for coffee after work, or after meeting. Have you read the section here named "What is recovery"?

Exercise is recommended, but to the best of my knowledge, only *light exercise* and as far as working on your relationship with your wife goes....get the sobriety training in motion, concentrate on that and then work on your relationship. There seems to be an order about life.

Maybe making an appointment to see your Dr. would help to discuss your emotional health during this time.

Dubs, put as many irons in the fire as you can to help yourself and give yourself the best possible chance of succeeding this time. We would all like to see you succeed, but *you* have to do the work and it *is* work. It's about action and commitment to yourself and for yourself and the rest will follow.

What do you think?
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Old 01-03-2010, 06:58 AM
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Good points, i have to get serious about this. Which I am. Believe me. but you know I think I have so many people in my life that do drink and whatever. Its been difficult my friend. I have some hard decisions to make. Thank you for your words. I appreciate that.
thanks.
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Old 01-03-2010, 07:12 AM
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Do you have a time frame figured out as to when you *can* get serious about this? Today is always a good day. Which of my 'points" did you you like the best and agree you implementing...*Implementing* being the operative word.

Get rid of "the many people in your life that drink and whatever" if only temporarily and surround yourself with people in active recovery. AA is a good place to find those kinds of people. You have mentioned a number of times that you liked AA and got a lot of it. Is that the truth? because I'm at a loss as to why you are avoiding it now and no, it's not because you've been too busy, well maybe...but not constructively busy.

I *know* it's difficult* my friend. I've been there and done that and even have a Tee shirt that says so.

Yes you have decisions to make Dubs and that isn't the first time I've read that comment. What's the decision to make? Are you on the fence about getting and staying sober? Is it which strategy to implement? Is the decision *when*? Do you even know what the decisions are that you have to make? What are you doing know? This isn't difficult Dubs, or it doesn't have to be. it is *YOU* that's making it difficult. The only thing standing in your way is YOU.
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Old 01-03-2010, 07:31 AM
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thanks. I have a very demanding job, and quite honestly I am scared crapless of the 3 day wds, there is no way I can do this at work. I do presentations of ideas most of the day, and getting ready for them the rest. what a change from my life years back! anyway- i can't be shaking and going through wds while working, guess thats pretty much it.
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Old 01-03-2010, 07:36 AM
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Sobriety has opened new opportunities for having appreciation about the wonderful world around me. Gaining this gratefulness has given me a value I can build on. Those things I value I tend to keep close to heart, like my sobriety. Thanks for reminding me Dub.
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Old 01-03-2010, 07:38 AM
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Yep...well......

I guess that's pretty much it.....
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Old 01-03-2010, 07:43 AM
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i was just being honest. its not it. i do appreciate your comments though, i agree with you.
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Old 01-03-2010, 07:45 AM
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I can relate to you debubya. Just keep positive mate, thats the most important thing IMO. And remember to just stay away from that first drink at all costs. Thats the only way you ain't gonna have to go through this Crap again.

But I do really relate to what you're saying, I think it's definately difficult as well being a musician/muso and stuff. I have had to battle with all of that side myself but I came to the conclusion that I really don't have a life if I take that first drink so I have made the choice to stay away from it at all costs. it can be a little 'boring' at times but I remember the WD's/addiction cycle all too well and know that I would rather lose some of 'magic sparkle' (very fleeting and not worth the carnage) than to have to be back in that insanity again.

Peace and Love x (One day at a time man)
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Old 01-03-2010, 08:52 AM
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Originally Posted by gerryP View Post
Yep...well......

I guess that's pretty much it.....
I'm sorry to be a pest but I really can't find the list of books you mentioned. Could you share because I'm really interested.
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Old 01-03-2010, 09:03 AM
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This is a list of some books, Susan:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...elped-you.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-books.html
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