lots of great suggestions above. don't have much to add but i will say that whatever ever you decide to do for now, don't have to be forever, unless you choose it to be.
i'm a recovering addict and it took for my family to walk away from me before i could see that i needed to seek help for myself. i agree that it sounds like your a is not ready yet and it does sound like he purposely missed his appointment.
i pray the strength for you to do whatever it is you have to do to protect yourself and your child from his addiction.