Still me,
It's a tough place to be - don't want to drink but can't be sober.
Getting out that place takes work, involves change, and needs commitment - there's just no way out of that.
You're not alone though - have you tried a face to face support group, like AA or some other recovery programme?
Are you thinking of seeing a Dr or counsellor?
I will die from this whether from the booze or my own hands. I guess their both the same though aren't they?
I know you're just musing but if you ever feel really down we have a sticky here with some readings and links
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-suicidal.html
Please keep posting.
D