He can not hear *ANY* problem or concern I have without thinking that I hate him and that I think he is an A$$hole.
translation: i'm losing my grip on her. my drinking is now threatened. she does love me. perhaps i can manipulate her for longer and therefore, keep drinking in the comfort of her nice, tidy, well-stocked, heated home.
I think that is because he secretly thinks he is a jerk and I unmask him as one.
translation: i am not a jerk. i am superman.
So if I share a concern, he feels unloved and thus unsafe and can't connect to his own love for me.
translation: i love drink. she is threatening my first love. i will trick her now, so that she pities me and helps me to do basic things that every responsible sober person does but since i am superman, i don't have to do these things if she pities me enough to do them for me.
He said I was holding grudges and building up a scorecard and that he won't accept a relationship where his partner was going to drop these surprise upsets on him all the time.
translation: i will now threaten her with leaving, so that she drops this drink talk. i have no intention of leaving. why would i leave this nice house? plus, her parents give me money, and that means i can drink more.
Can't I just leave him alone and stop controlling him for once? He hates himself for feeling that way, but that's the way he feels. Well, I have to respect the honesty in that.
translation: gee, i wish i could have a drink now, rather than this conversation. if i tell her i hate myself, perhaps she will return to giving me her energy again. at least it will change the subject from my drinking. she doesn't understand, i don't hate myself. i am superhuman and drinking is not a problem. i can handle it. i am special in that way.
He is left feeling like I am never satisfied.
translation: i only care about my own satisfaction. i mainly think only about myself. she's getting to be a nuisance now, with this constant harping about my drinking. hmmm....perhaps i should be extra sweet for a day or two, even abstain from drinking, and this will all blow over and things will get back to normal.