still me,
you are not a whiner, you are seriously ill.
i think you should consider whatever detox you can get into and go.
if you drink to blackout nearly every day, you body is dependent on the alcohol, and you need a doctors help to detox.
please call a doctor, the salvation army or someone in AA might have a route for you to take.
when you want to quit and you cant, you are very ill. i was there, and it was damn hard to ask for help, but once i did, the floodgates opened.
be good to yourself, you deserve a life.