Thanks everyone!! To Least...I can relate to what you said about not wanting to feel my feelings and that goes back to what Dee said earlier...find out what I was trying to accomplish with my drinking. Light bulb went off in my head tonight as I was around my family. That is a BIG one..I really don't like my family and find being around them is almost unbearable at times. But...I did it without drinking tonight!! It was one of those moments where I was feeling things that are uncomfortable and in the past I would drown them out with drinking. As far as AA...I went several times in the past....found a sponsor that also wouldn't leave me alone and I felt like I became her savior rather then her helping me!! Our meetings would always end up being about her! I had a group that I liked though and plan to start going again after Christmas. I live in a very small town and there are not many meetings to choose from and remaining anonymous is difficult. Anyway, another day without drinking. Some clarity gained. Will be glad when it is January 2nd!! Ü Thanks for letting me share...(this does help!!)