sunshinebaby

This is probably the 3rd time I have come on here, trying to stop my drinking. I don't think I drink excessively but I drink constantly and that is my problem.

I drink probably 4 or 5 nights per week, always 2 glasses of wine followed by 2 cans of premixed drinks. Thats about all I do each sitting, so I don't think its alot BUT I don't have alot of alcohol free days, and that is what worries me.

I drink more than I used to for sure. I have drank on and off since my teens but over the past couple of years, and especially the last 12 months I haven't really had a break.

I am finding that I have no patience with my children. I am snappy, irritable, impatient with them, I yell alot because I can't stand them not listening to me, and things that usually wouldn't worry me, drive me nuts.

I can see what a horrible, cranky mother I am and that upsets me. I love my kids so much and want them to remember a happy fun mum, not one who doesn't play with them so much and who yells.

Two years ago, after I suffered 4 miscarriages in a row (we tried unsucessfully for a 4th child) I went on a health kick. I lost heaps of weight, got fit and trim at the gym and I was looking fabulous and felt great. I want to get back there again....

I also think I am addicted to coke zero, which I drink every day. That along with the caffiene in the pre mixed drinks I am sure is adding to my cranky feelings and my aggression.

I am scared of going to the doctors one day and finding out I have cancer from drinking this crap, in alcohol and coke zero, and I won't be here for my babies. I have decided that from Jan 1st I am going to cut it all out, no alcohol and no coke zero.

I know this is a week away, but I need a starting point, and maybe it should be today but I know me and I know I need to start Jan 1. I stopped drinking all of March last year, and it was easy. But then I restarted.

I buy my alcohol on my visa card so my hubby doesn't know how much I drink. And it is costing me so much money....

I used to be so patient and a chill out person, but know I am a cranky old mother...I can see it clearly.

Tell me am I right in assuming this alcohol and soft drink is consuming to my aggressive nature????and I would appreciate positive comments. Thanks so much and merry xmasxxx