want to be a better mummy and person

Old 12-24-2009, 12:59 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
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want to be a better mummy and person

This is probably the 3rd time I have come on here, trying to stop my drinking. I don't think I drink excessively but I drink constantly and that is my problem.

I drink probably 4 or 5 nights per week, always 2 glasses of wine followed by 2 cans of premixed drinks. Thats about all I do each sitting, so I don't think its alot BUT I don't have alot of alcohol free days, and that is what worries me.

I drink more than I used to for sure. I have drank on and off since my teens but over the past couple of years, and especially the last 12 months I haven't really had a break.

I am finding that I have no patience with my children. I am snappy, irritable, impatient with them, I yell alot because I can't stand them not listening to me, and things that usually wouldn't worry me, drive me nuts.

I can see what a horrible, cranky mother I am and that upsets me. I love my kids so much and want them to remember a happy fun mum, not one who doesn't play with them so much and who yells.

Two years ago, after I suffered 4 miscarriages in a row (we tried unsucessfully for a 4th child) I went on a health kick. I lost heaps of weight, got fit and trim at the gym and I was looking fabulous and felt great. I want to get back there again....

I also think I am addicted to coke zero, which I drink every day. That along with the caffiene in the pre mixed drinks I am sure is adding to my cranky feelings and my aggression.

I am scared of going to the doctors one day and finding out I have cancer from drinking this crap, in alcohol and coke zero, and I won't be here for my babies. I have decided that from Jan 1st I am going to cut it all out, no alcohol and no coke zero.

I know this is a week away, but I need a starting point, and maybe it should be today but I know me and I know I need to start Jan 1. I stopped drinking all of March last year, and it was easy. But then I restarted.

I buy my alcohol on my visa card so my hubby doesn't know how much I drink. And it is costing me so much money....

I used to be so patient and a chill out person, but know I am a cranky old mother...I can see it clearly.

Tell me am I right in assuming this alcohol and soft drink is consuming to my aggressive nature????and I would appreciate positive comments. Thanks so much and merry xmasxxx
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Old 12-24-2009, 01:38 AM
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Hi Sunshine,

Have you seriously tried to quit drinking before? I had to get a program to quit drinking. I use Rational Recovery but have gone to AA. AA is probably the easiest way to quit, I think. It's still work but there's lots of support.

Reading the posts here help me a lot. There's so many great and supportive people and it's open 24-7!

I hope to see you around!


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Old 12-24-2009, 02:27 AM
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hi sunshinebaby

Welcome to SR. Good to have another Aussie here.

I didn't like the man alcohol made me into - even on the very rare occasions when I was sober, I was still irritable and cross and sometimes nasty because I wanted to be drinking.

I couldn't keep living that way. Things had to change.

It was hard to change my life - really hard sometimes - but it was the best thing I ever did.

I'm still no saint, but I like who I am - that was a real revelation for me when I realised it, and I knew I'd really made some serious strides.

You'll find a lot of support and help here - I did - and like Lenina says, you might find some face to face support is beneficial to you too

Keep reading and posting sunshinebaby - and Merry Christmas!

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Old 12-24-2009, 03:17 AM
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What would be really useful to you is to meet a person who you can relate to and has gone through what you are going through and is sober and happy why not go to an AA meeting, find someone like that and get them to show you the solution?

And come to SR too:-)
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Old 12-24-2009, 03:42 AM
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Its time for bed
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Originally Posted by sunshinebaby View Post
I am scared of going to the doctors one day and finding out I have cancer from drinking this crap, in alcohol and coke zero, and I won't be here for my babies. I have decided that from Jan 1st I am going to cut it all out, no alcohol and no coke zero.
I believe Coke zero is sweetened with sucralose (splenda) which is 99% safer than the phenylalanine or aspartame used to sweeten diet coke. BUT if you want to cut it because of the caffeine then that is a wise decision also.

In all seriousness I would simply eliminate the alcohol first. Many of us have tried to simultaneously quit drinking - caffeine - and smoking. BUT those who quit one thing at a time have a better chance. I think its easy to relapse on both since your resolve to not drink alcohol is also being drained by not drinking coke zero.

Start by quitting alcohol only. Have your coke when you crave a drink. You may need a crutch when you feel an overwhelming need for a drink. Giving up alcohol makes the most positive difference for most of us... thats the biggest mess to clean - worry about the little stuff later.

FYI I quit drinking and smoking at the same time. I know its hypocritacal for me to post all of this but that is only because I got lucky to quit both... I don't recommend it and easily could have relapsed onto both!!
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Old 12-24-2009, 08:32 AM
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Welcome to SR, sunshine. There is hope here....keep reading and posting as you decide how you want to handle your path to sobriety.

Your kids will never be unhappy they have a sober mom.
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Old 12-24-2009, 08:50 AM
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Not only are your children going to remember you the way you were, but they are learning that drinking alcoholically is a way of life. I raised my children as a drunk, and my baby (22 now) thinks she has to have a head change every day. This makes me so sad.

The good news is, if you quit now, and embrace recovery, you can learn a whole new set of life skills. Recovery offers ways of coping which have changed my life into something beyond my wildest dreams,

Now my daughter sees a joyous, responsible, grateful and loving person. She knows I have a spiritual component to my life. I can only hope some of this rubs off on her, as my addiction behaviors surely did.

Quit while they are still young, and give them a look at a healthy life style, welcome.
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Old 12-24-2009, 09:10 AM
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Hi and Welcome,

I think you have made a great decision.

It's interesting that, at first alcohol helps us to relax, but then ends up causing irritability and upset. I thought I was using alcohol to self-medicate to help me to relax and sleep. It seemed that, so quickly, alcohol was controlling me and making me feel worse.
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Old 12-24-2009, 04:16 PM
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Thankyou everyone
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Old 12-24-2009, 04:21 PM
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Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
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Good to know you are here again and heading into sobriety.

Blessings to you and your family
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Old 12-24-2009, 04:33 PM
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Welcome back to SR. I can honestly tell you drinking made me very snapish with my son and very impatient. I am a much better person over all when I am sober. If SR hasn't done it for you in the past then I would most definitely seek some face to face type of recovery program. Just sayin is all.

Glad you are here and that you posted. Merry Christmas to you.
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Old 12-24-2009, 04:52 PM
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everything is already ok
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Welcome again sb
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Old 12-25-2009, 12:05 AM
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Thank you....
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