hi, sorry you have to be here but so glad you are. i'm a recovering addict married to a practicing addict and i have to agree with kitty, there is nothing you can do to help your wife, she'll have to want to seek help for herself.
from experience, i can tell you that i don't think she is choosing drugs over the family, she's addicted and probably all she can think of day in and day out is drugs. thats how it was for me any way. its not against you or because of you. its really not a personal thing.
it took for my family to turn their back allowing me to hit my bottom, it was then that i was able to see just how out of control my life had become causing me to feel desperate to commit to recovery. today i'm a few yrs clean and very grateful to my family for allowing me to hit bottom and suffer the consequences of my own actions.
try to focus more on you and what you can do to make your life easier. read all you can and post as much as you like, we are all here to help each other. maybe you could try alanon or naranon f2f support groups for yourself. we who live with addiction sometimes get just as sick as our addicts and need help too.
i really do understand how hard it is to step away from all the drama, my husband of 23yrs is what brought me here. like you, i came here trying to see how i could help him. after 21yrs of trying to stick and stay, i found myself literally going insane so i HAD to separate myself inorder to regain some sanity. the caring people here have really been life savers for me so i pray that you stick around. others with more exp, will be along shortly to offer you more support. i will keep you and your family in my prayers.