iwantcontrol,
I had an XABF for 10 months more or less...here I learned one thing is to look forward to something with hope (like graduating: while you are studying to obtain a degree, or a promotion working your a$$ off) and a very different thing is: wishful thinking, expecting that suddenly a truck loaded with money arrives at your home while you are around doing nothing in your pijamas... how likely is that? in my case XABF had absolutely no intention on cutting back and never acknowledged there was even an issue.
One year later I still hurt but I have learned TONS about myself and about what I am looking for in life (PEACE)... once you know what it is that you are looking for, you can go for it, and you become A Happy Story. For that its needed to let go of fantasies, which is quite painful but after all you've got a life to live, even if it sucks many times. It still beats living in a fantasy world... alone.