Oh I am now having problems between being perceived as "controlling" and placing boundaries that if I am honest are not way beyond what any normal person would need. But I prefer to be called controlling than being called a doormat!
I am not sure where things got so messy but I know spending LOTS of time alone and doing or planning how to do, stuff that I enjoy, is my salvation... and yes those comments reminded me of being told I was a coward then being told I was brave.
"Whatever" LOL, if you know who you are, those comments are even laughable
often I have paid attention to what everybody says to others and its so transparent what they say (and the tone) is not to others but themselves... thus the judgamental voice "you are this and that and not enough this and too much that.." is how they live. Its a miserable place and I am trying not to live there anymore...
Keep moving foward in the direction of your dreams... don't be distracted by others suffering and drama. It is not yours...