((I'mtired))
Please know that my heart goes out to you as does my prayers for comfort for you -
It is never a "good" time to have an active alcoholic/addict in your life, but it always seems to be so much more painful during those "special" occasions such as the holidays.
I have some similiar experiences as the others here do - with my daughter in jail, not seeing grandchildren, no knowing where she was at, mailing christmas gifts to my grandchildren - one yr I kept their gifts until the following March. I also was living with an Active AH too - Trying to detach from his behaviors and insanity.
It was sad, heartbreaking and stuff you think would never happen to you - but it does - it did and somehow we got thru it.
How did I? I trusted that there was something BIGGER than this Disease in control - although it didn't LOOK like there was - I knew in my heart there just had to be. I relied heavily on my "recovery" family - their experience, strength and hope helped me - I did good, healthy and recovery things for me and prayed that someday my Daughter would be able to do those same things for herself - that my AH would once again embrace sobriety.
Today, my AH is my ex ah - still on the path of destruction -
BUT my daughter celebrated 7 months of sobriety on 12/2 - She made the Dean's list this semester at our local university, she lives with 1 of her 3 children - takes care of her daughter about 70 % of the time and hopes to have full custody returned soon, sees her other son often and has a great p/t job. She loves herself and takes REALLY good care of herself in a healthy recovery way.
The girl that spent those holidays on the streets and in jail is buried deep - she and I both know that she could return at any moment - but my daughter follows her program and does what she needs to do to take care of her.
Please, do what is necessary to take care of YOU - it is truly the best gift you can do for yourself and for your loved ones. Your example of self-love and self-care touches many more people than you may ever know.
Peace, love and comfort to you!
HUGS (hope, unity, gratitude and serenity)
Rita