Best response I've found to drunk people is "Hunh." or "Oh." "Let me think about that for a while."
Then just let it go or maybe think about it for a while. She may be an alcoholic. You may be a control freak. Everyone has their problems. That's why AlAnon is such a good program for the F&F of alcoholics because it gets us to focus on our problems and our issues. Just as the alcoholic who truly wants recovery cannot blame others for their problems - so the codependent cannot blame the alcoholic or others for their problems.
peace-
b