I'm tired: If i understand your original post correctly, you were asking for polite ways to broach the idea to your AD that you did not want her to come to your sister's house where you were going to also be spending a holiday dinner- that you just did not want to have the stress of your AD being there at your sister's with you...
Am i correct about that? If so, you could state that to your daughter in just the way you said it above - such as, "Dear daughter, i love you. I always will. But you are not welcome in my life, being that you are in active, untreated addiction, during the dinner at my sister's. I'm sure you'll find another place to go to for the holiday."
How's that? There have been plenty of us here who have done that. Now the debate that will come up is, "but you can't do that because it's your sister's call." To that i can only say that, in my case, i've disinvited my AS to wherever it is i am going to be. If my relatives communicated in any way that they did not want me to disinvite my AS to their gathering, i would respectfully tell them that, since it is their home, that i would respect their viewpoint, would extend the invitation to my AS, and then also let my relative know that i would not be there. And if anyone asked why, i would only say that i will not have untreated, active addiction in my life any more but that if my AS ever decides to seek recovery that i would support that in any way i could.
Handling these kinds of situations with decorum and in a way that does not cause drama is challenging, but it can be done successfully.
Hope that helps..