iwantcontrol

Thanks for all your stories. It is nice to see that there is some hope out there! I'm finding it hard at the moment because I so want to have some hope that thigns can work out, but I need to be realistic too and just see what happens. I know I need to learn to deal with whatever is going to happen and make sure that I will be OK, but part of me is just clinging onto the thought that he will stop drinking so it'll all be fine.

To Icant - about giving me false hope - It helps to hear what you said about the program asking him to give up whilst on it and the fact he is still drinking. Things like that get lost in amongst everything going on so that I just accept it as the way it is now. I'm tired of talking about it with him as it just causes arguments and him saying that he is trying his best. Maybe that is the point though - his best just isn't good enough, or more to the point I don't think he is trying his best at all because if he was he wouldn't be drinking anything. Or is that too harsh? I'm jsut getting so confused and sick of trying to analyse things.

Started writing a blog though which is helping in getting my thoughts out, as I don't really have anyone to talk to about this stuff. Too ashamed to talk to my friends or family about it as it just isn't the sort of thing they have experience of or would understand. PM me if you'd like to read it....