Hi Tired....
I kicked my AD out in Sept. and told her I was done. Done with feeling guilty, done trying to get her to stop. Just plain done. And I started working on myself. I have both of her boys (ages 3 & 6) and the holidays have been hard. She was clean and working a program on Christmas, two years ago. What a blessing. Last Christmas was a nightmare. And this Christmas I am just trying to get through day by day. You see, she is not done yet. Right now she stays place to place and I do let her come see the kids. She is on suboxone and is not using right now (I don't think, but who knows) but she also is not working any kind of program. So she is still not ready...IMO. Any ways, I don't have any advice for you, just wanted to let you know that I DO feel your pain. And I know how you feel about spending the holidays with her. You love her, you would like for her to be there, but the anxiety of what might happen or not happens keeps our lives in utter chaos, if we let it. As for the gifts, I've decided to buy her a pair of shoes and a Snuggie. No strings attached.
My thoughts are with you. Here is hoping we will all have a peaceful Christmas.
As for me I am just gonna keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Gotahavfaith
