I appreciate the comments. Bucyn said it so well. I certainly don't want my daughter to feel pain. When I know she is in pain, and her life circumstances are so overwhelming, I can honestly say that I feel her pain myself. I feel so bad for her, it's quite literally gut wrenching. Then I get so angry, because she doesn't seem to feel the same, when i'm hurting. I would like her to feel remorse and accept the consequences of her lack of responsibility. But like Normaestein said:
" I don't think they feel remorse because they think nothing is ever their fault....nothing".
How sad, because I start believing it is my fault. and i seem to 'buy' into her manipulations,' the good and the bad' so much. So today, after 25 yr.s of going through this, I actually changed my tele.# and told her I couldn't go through anymore. That makes me sad to have done that, but I don't see any other way. Even though she has been sober for a yr. and I though things were going considerably better.