Hello rskehres. Welcome to SR.
You are very wise to seek out help regarding all that's going on with your friend and how her choices and lifestlye changes are affecting you both. As Ann has said, it's not easy to watch someone harm themselves (and others) with alcohol or drugs.
The focus of this forum, just like at Naranon and in Al-Anon meetings; is on _you_ and that is how we help one another, by sharing from our experience what works.
There's help to be found and you don't have to face this all by yourself. There are ways to learn how to detach from the chaos and yet still care about somebody like your exgf.
The main thing I learned by coming here and attending Al-Anon....in a nutshell.... is to realize that what someone else decides to do is out of my control. I can only control my own actions and reactions to what somebody else does. I also learned that much of what I was doing to 'help' was most often not helpful to the addict nor to myself. There are ways to offer support to a person without allowing it to drag me down to the level they are at.
Again, I'm so glad you decided to come here to share your story and ask for support.