Hi, Eternallife. It sounds like you are a member of our tribe - i.e., an alcoholic.
I just want to echo what some other people have said about trying out AA...I used to be highly skeptical of them, but I'm convinced now that AA is the only reason I'm sober and have been for four months now.
AA claims that the disease of alcoholism is too powerful to be conquered by willpower alone, and that a program of following their twelve steps and having the spiritual experience that results is just about the only surefire method for curing alcoholism. I know that many members on this board have found sobriety without using AA and that's wonderful for them...for me, though, I know I couldn't have done it without AA. So I would encourage you to give it a shot - at least try going to a meeting or two to see what you think.
And believe it or not, AA is a good place to socialize. I met
my boyfriend and have made lots of good friends through AA.
Keep us posted on how things go for you.
Stephanie