Hey Flashy!! On my Day 1, I was already thinking, "Ah, a six pack won't hurt!" Ugh. In 07, I got sober for 7 months after driving my car head on into a concrete wall on the freeway. Two weeks after that incident, those thoughts were already popping into my head. No car, taking the bus to work after a near death experience that I walked away from safe and those thoughts still lingered. I fought them for 7 months, improved my life beyond belief, started to repair the damage I'd done to myself and others, and one little drink back turned into 10000s and here I am, over 2 years later, trying to do it again.
Nothing is worth that drink. Sometimes I have to knock it down to the basics without the thought of disease or addiction floating in my head - "I want to throw my life away because of a BEVERAGE?? Fluid? Liquid poison? I want to throw my life away to drink a poison?" Then I just laugh at myself. Seems so ridiculous. In reality, I know that it's not that simple, but sometimes "keep it simple stupid" is all I've got . . .
Stay strong! We're here to support you!! Be well hon.