Thanks Tazman53.
I have already decided to go to an AA meeting. The problem with going every day is health problems. I recently had to quit my job because getting into work everyday proved impossible as my medication wasn't reliably controlling my symptoms. I'm currently having some health invesitgations to find some more suitable medication.
However, I will still go to meetings...just need to plan medication. I have found a womens only and beginners meeting nearby which, once back from staying with my partners family, I will go to. I am looking forward to sharing my experiences with people who won't judge and who will understand. I am too ashamed to talk with my family, and my partner has a naive belief that I just need to 'cut down'. I think he wants that for more selfish reasons; he enjoys fine wine like a fine chocolate and he enjoys sharing it...with me. What he doesn't seem to understand is that I drink to numb my feelings and thoughts and can't just drink it to enjoy fine tastes. I just want alchohol regardless of what it tastes like! I look forward to being able to be open, honest and accepted. And to go without people from my life coming with me...to take ownership of my problems and therefore feel more empowered.
Simply joining this site and reading a few posts has given me more strength and simply voicing my thoughts about those around me has helped me understand my situation and contributory factors that help sustain my probolem.
Although I won't be going to a meeting for a few weeks I will continue to use this site and report on how I manage with staying with a family who all actively encourage drinking. One more positive aspect of my visit is that one family member I will be visiting is an alcoholic and seeing him acts as a fresh reminder of why i no longer want a relationship with alcohol.
Although Christmas is perhaps one of the more trying times for me to quit drinking...it will also be the most successful...if you get what I mean...if I conquer it that is.