His expectations...and my guilt...
Ok...I think maybe I have figured out a pattern of behaviors that he does/I do...that he is expecting right now. Let's see if I can explain. He either drinks/calls me names etc. in the evening and becomes impossible, then (in the past) I pretended in the morning nothing happened. SO....this is why his expectation is that I will, "just get over it" again. I asked him to leave 6 days ago...and well he is doing everything in his power to make me fell gulty from saying, "How could you hold my shelter over my head?", to telling me that he had "3 propositions from other women" this week, to bringing up one of my past boyfriends (who I was with when we were not an item -years ago) - all of these in order to evoke an angry response, or guilt. I am proud to say however that NONE of these worked, and he doesn't know what to think of that....he is expecting me to explode - but I'm done with that. I just informed him that our conversation was over and I was done. Today he was out the house while I was at work, and still here when I got home. I said nothng, just did my normal stuff. He made NO attempt to talk to me, I occassionally included him in my talking tot he kids etc...he said nothing. SO....dinner time, I asked him if he wanted something....he said something then got ready to leave. He was obviously angry. So I asked him what was wrong...and he didn't say much. Then, I asked him why he said those things last night....and he didn't want to talk about it so he left. A little layer through email letting me know he was "joking" when he said those things....right - it was so funny I forgot to laugh! Anyway, so then we were chatting through facebook and he said, "You didn't aske me to stay" - I said no I didn't - last night was ridiculous. He got mad, I told him which was probablly a mistake that I would give this one more chance, provided we went to marriage couseling, no drinking or namecalling. He said well maybe we'll try again tomorrow. So I said whatever - I think he BELIEVES that I will beg/cry for him to come back. NO WAY - not the new me....detachment that's the word here. I am living my life....he is not going to control me anymore by trying to make me angry or cry...my new reaction is simply to ignore/dismiss and move on. Sorry if I am rambling, but feeling a little confused, and something like everytime he is gone, I start to miss him, but then he says/does something just like I always and I am jolted to reality!