Least,
I'm glad you came here and posted. Drinking always makes it worse. Always.
For the future, can you find some volunteer work or a project to do on a regular basis? Nothing that would over-tax you physically but just something to get you out of the house and in contact with people? Maybe at a pet store or animal rescue?
Would reading to children at the local library a few days a week for an hour? Delivering Meal on Wheels to the homebound? There's got to be something you'd find interesting or at least a distraction and get you some social contact.
Honey, please take care of yourself. You're much loved here.
Love,
Lenina