I wish I knew still though why he never feels the need to apologize.....ever.....and why he can speak to me and act like he did nothing wrong.
This kind of searching question is so natural to us who live in the world of logic. But you can drive yourself cuckoo with questions ike this applied to an A. Just tell yourself any old answer.
Because he is an alcoholic.
Because he is from Mars. Whatever will help you to let it go!
I only say this because I know when I have been hung up on this kindof question I start analyzing myself and what did I do to deserve this etc...and so I am still locked into a way of thinking that is associated with the A's behavior...still trying to figure things out in relation to a person who is living in a toxic world and making toxic choices.
That energy has always been better spent just picking even one little thing I'd like to change about myself and applying the energy there!
You sound strong - I know this must be very difficult and for sure painful for the children but it is a step in the right direction towards teaching them what is acceptable in a partner/parent relationship... hang in there mentally!
peace-
b