Oh, reverse....
I am so sorry you are so lonely and sad. I want to send you a big hug and tell you someone does love you and cares more than you'll ever know, more than any of us will know....Jesus!!! He is real and knows you and all your faults, yet He loves you so very much.
You are not to blame for what others have done with their lives and how they chose to live it. It is unfortunate that we see how they treat us and feel it was all our fault. Yes, we all participate in the madness but it is the alcohol that creates the chaos we are involved in. It's the nature of the disease. My mom's alcoholism is also tearing up our family little by little and it is harder each year to see how it is causing more pain and irrational behavior. I feel sometimes she baits us and sets us off against each other. My dad will sometimes take her side when she gripes about one of us kids. I think he is just going along because he is glad her venom is not directed toward him at that time. I cannot spend too much time with them because I can't stand how she drinks and acts sometimes or how my dad just complains about her but doesn't seem to do anything about her drinking. He's a hostage and my mom doesn't want me or anyone else to mess that up. The holidays will be worse and I don't know what has happened in your family to cause this silence but sometimes we have to be the ones to break it if only for the reason to say we tried. Once when my mom said some terrible things to me and I wouldn't call or talk to her for a month or so. I finally called and she apologized but she told me not to call so often and if she wanted to drink that was her business. She was basically giving me permission to take care of myself and not worry about her. She was right too, I need to live my life and not try to control what happens to her or try to fix her. As much as I want to see her get sober, I can't. It sounds like you have reached out and some have not accepted it. You have done what you can. Christmas is coming. You may want to send cards, or emails to let them know you are thinking of them. It's all up to you. You know your family. I don't know what happened with your mom's email, maybe she messed up because she was drunk? Maybe she thought she sent something. I don't know but I would say try not to take it the wrong way, it could have been a mix-up. I call my folks every other week maybe. I see them two or three times a year, being I live a few hrs. away. Mostly in the summer and Christmas time. We have had too many disputes over her drinking behavior and I need to make our visits shorter now. I don't call her after 5p either because I know she's been drinking since noon or so.
Remember you are loved by the One who gave his life for you and rose again.... Rejoice!! This world may be going crazy but we don't have to follow. You have a rescuer.
Love and blessings,