Mermaid, hello dear. What a difficult, energy draining time you've been having. I'm so sorry.
Our alcoholics work very hard to isolate us from family and friends. For mine, this involved keeping me on the phone back and forth to work the entire 1/2 hour drive every day, making up things, sometimes horrible things about my family and friends so I'd feel guilty about being with them, accusing me of all kinds of bizarre things (the worst was that I was involved in internet porn movies) about me, etc.
I believe they do this isolation thing so that we, their own personal co-dependents, can focus exclusively on them. We can be their drinking buddies, their emotional encouragers, the feeders of their twisted egos.
Our alcoholics are sick. They drink, behave badly, become abusive, and then they either justify their behavior, or conveniently forget. Often, they exhibit this behavior both drunk or sober... even when in recovery. Their minds and hearts are twisted, and they attempt to project their twisted-ness onto us in order to make it "okay". It is poison to us, and it will slowly kill us.
We get sucked into their sickness because we've loved and trusted them with our very lives. We buy into their behavior, even while our logical minds are screaming; "NO", but our own dependence upon what we believe they could be overrides, as does our natural, feminine propensity to be caregivers. This, in short, is our own sickness. Our co-dependence.
What, may I ask, have you done to take care of YOU? Have you spent lots of time venting and seeking feedback on this forum? This is, for me, the best place to learn to take care of ourselves, get encouragement, learn the alcoholic behavior and how it affects us and what to do in response. There's also Al-Anon which is SO helpful for so many, and that I've added 2x/wk as another tool for healing, and counseling which provides invaluable help for so many. By using these methods, you can learn to focus your energy on yourself, and healthy ways of being, rather than giving all your energy to dealing with your energy-draining alcoholic. You can learn to live successfully with or without him.
Sorry this is long and rather heavy. I hope it's been helpful.
(((MERMAID))) HUGS and thoughts of STRENGTH to you Mermaid!
Tigger