It seemed like he was trying to push his recovery on me when we were in the family meeting. The therapist kept having to cut him off because he just went on a huge lecture rant on me.
I just got done reading the break down of the steps in the NA book. I think I have done step 1. I mean I know I am powerless and my life is def unmanageable. I guess the idea behind that is to completely surrender. I believe I have done that. But it seems I might need a little more time to let the dust settle and make sure that I still feel the same way. You know what I mean? I know I am ready. But as time goes by and we get further away from that thing that drove us to seek help. Sometimes people, I know I have done it everytime, think that it may not have been as bad as we know it was. I am going to wait another week or so before I say for sure that I have completely surrendered. I know how I think. I am going to fight that feeling of minimization but at the same time, If I am going to do this. I have to be 100% positive.
So I do surrender. I am at a point where I am crying on my knees begging for someone to take it all away. But I would feel more comfortable waiting a little longer before I moved on to step 2. Thats going to be a real hard one for me. Does any of that make sense?
Thx Ro for that. I would really like and appreciate that.