Originally Posted by
parentrecovers 
please. play nice - we're all just hashing around this topic. and from the quick replies, it seems to be a HOT one
Understood, your response did make a bit "hot", a non alcoholic telling AA how we should run OUR meetings and OUR program does that to me on occasion, I had enough codependent non alcoholics tell me how to run my life before I got sober, so when you suggested how we could improve AA I got a little offended, as a matter of fact my response was along the lines of "How
DARE you tell us how to run
OUR program!!!! that has saved so many lives including possibly your daughters
I do now however understand where you are coming from and
when my daughter got out the first day from 90 days in rehab, she wanted to go to an aa meeting before we took her to her half-way house. and she wanted us (my hubby and i) to go with her - to an open meeting.
needless to say, we had all had a lot of stress and emotions that day. and when we got to what we thought was an open meeting - it started and it was actually a closed meeting. so we were introducing ourselves and my husband apoligized to the folks at the meeting for our mistake, told them what was going on that day, etc, and he and i offered to wait for our daughter at a coffee shop down the street.
the folks at that meeting refused to let us go, told us they understood what a tough day we were having, and focused the meeting discussion around families and alcoholism.
we needed those people that day.
I would have welcomed you and your family that day as well, and done everything in my power to help you good people.
AA is there PRECISELY because we have traditions and adhere to them, every single other program, or group in the past has failed and disappeared because they DIDN'T adhere to these principals. We HAVE to follow our traditions or we will fail, and if we fail many people will die, literally, it's that serious. AA is life and death to many of us so when non alcoholics come in start telling us how to run our program we get understandably angry and threatened, or I do I should say.
As far as "duel addictions" or whatever go, If you have a problem with alcohol, you are welcome at open or closed meetings
I was a "garbage can" alcoholic that smoked marijuana and would put any substance in my body to get loaded, so there are drugs in my story, that offends some purists, if people have a problem with drugs in my story, that's THEIR problem, Bill and Bob and many of the stories in The Big Book have drugs in their stories.
If you have a problem with alcohol, you are in the right place, it doesn't matter what what other problems you have as well, overeating, sex problems, drug problems etc. but if you have a problem with alcohol you are "qualified" to be a member.
I have said this earlier, but I have sponsored more then one Oxy addict/alcoholic and quite a few pothead/alcoholics, I will help anyone that asks for help within my limited means, but open meetings are for non alcoholics to come listen to how alcoholics got sober, and closed meetings are for alcoholics to come learn how to get sober.
I have never kicked anyone out of a meeting, however, as secretary, if I was at a closed meeting I would have to, because the "trusted servants" job is to "enforce" the group conscience, and if it's a closed meeting, that group has decided the meeting is for alcoholics only.
At an open meeting I would offer what support and help I could, and truthfully if I saw an addict at a closed meeting and I wasn't the secretary I would just tell them to keep their mouth shut in order from getting kicked out.
In AA we have sponsored many an addict, and many of them have gone on to found NA groups, this is an approach I agree with. I also have a few hundred friends that attend both fellowships, in AA they identify as alcoholics, and in NA they identify as addicts, because both are true.