Hi,
I want to share what I did when ex was in rehab for 30 days. I do not suggest following in my footsteps.
We talked on the phone everyday. He would call each evening. I sent weekly care packages of cookies and books. We treated it like camp. MISTAKE. In hindsight, I should NOT have communicated with him and just let him deal with it alone. We both needed space, but as a good codie I felt guilty and was doing what I thought was right at the time (without any knowledge).
He relapsed shortly afterwards. I was SOOOOOO caught up that I neglected myself and felt that I could control his drinking....I wish I went to al anon then.