I am going to go out on a limb here and say that your primary illeness is NOT alcholism although many would think differently. I will go even further out on that same limb and say that it is the Band-Aid to a deeper more conplicated issue. The idea is this: that gnawing, that empty feeling inside of each of us is real. the feelings are real, the emotions are real and that HOLE is very real. We proceed to fill that HOLE with anything and everything possible including alcohol. But it is not a bottle shaped HOLE. One of an alcoholic's worst feels is that of loniliness. We will do everything possible to not feel lonely and not be alone. In many cases this includes justifying hurtfull habits while denying the actual loniliness. I know this sounds like Freud- Psycho-babble but it is not. In truth it refers more to the spiritual battle we all fight between the FLESH and the SPIRIT. The FLESH screams for what it wants each day while the SPIRIT cries no, it will only bring pain and shame. Many would think I am refering to co-dependentcy but this is more like SLAA - Sex & Love Addicts Anonymous where people have sex and love all twisted around and use drugs and alcohol to reduce the shame of what they do. Again, I refer to the beginning and the fact that I am out on a limb here but I want to be sure that we are not treating the wrong illness here by remaining focused on the alcohol? Only you know for sure, not me, not them, but reading your post, I see you went directly to escort/dinner date leading me to believe that you want it to be one thing when in fact it may be something totally different?