Nice to see you again beach angel! You had a little list of questions and I will try to answer, keeping in mind that NO, I may not have the right answer but can only speak for myself!
As great as it is, escorting also leads me into drinking.
Well....that is like saying "carpenty leads me to drinking". Our occupations and what we do don't lead us to drink. For me, the reasons I drank had to do with a deep sense of unhappiness. That feeling was not related to what I did for a living or who I was with or where I lived or....or this or that. But, having said that....other alcoholics describe their "feeling for drinking" in other terms. It is very individual. What drives us to drink is personal.
My question is this:
1) How do others get over the social/work expectation that one should drink? Do you just not go to dinners or social events that people are drinking?
That is a really basic question that people ask here a lot. People use all kinds of methods, ranging from having a ready answer such as: "I don't drink" to "I'm taking medication". Some people early in sobriety don't attend any events with alcohol.
2) I think I need more help than just willpower. Should I go to AA? I would have to lie in AA about my job because I am not willing to give up my privacy regarding my job. Can I go through the steps and have a sponsor with this huge lie? Should I totally ADMIT everything at an AA meeting?
Absolutely not!!! Look at the second word in the name of this organization:
anonymous.
You are not expected to provide any of that kind of information about yourself at an aa meeting. People don't want to know what you do for a living or where you live, etc, etc. They simply want to talk about how to stop drinking and stay sober.
I have actually never been to a meeting, and I am going on 16 months of aa meetings, where anyone has mentioned what they do for a living. They simply say: "my job" and you can do the same.
As far as getting a sponsor and talking about being an escort, I imagine that most sponsors would not bat an eye. But, there again, you don't have to tell your sponsor what you do for a living. Your sponsor is primarily concerned with helping you stop drinking and stay sober. Most of your discussions will be about that.
3) I don't like the term "alcoholic" and I don't want to admit that or say I am such. I am a very positive person that goes over my list of goals every day, I am a yoga teacher and I don't believe in labels. Must I say in AA that "My name is ____ and I am an alchoholic" before every statement?
My personal view is that there is a reason why stating we are alcoholics is a part of aa meeting protocal: it is a psychological tool. It is a way of opposing our own sense of denial about our own condition. It is used not to shame us, but to help us admit who we are. Society shames us, but when we walk into the rooms of aa, we don't say we are alcoholics with a sense of shame but with a sense of hope that we will recover and a sense of honesty that we can accept who we are.
Thank you so much, this is the only place I can get help. I really appreciate your responses. I want this and I don't know any other way to go about this.
Keep coming back to SR and if you are nervous about going to AA, you can call the AA hotline in your area and ask if someone will take you to your first meeting. You can request a woman, someone close to your age, whatever.